Ankle swelling

Not sure why, but my ankle (left, same side as the bum knee) has decided to swell up. I'm not sure if this is because the knee is injured or if the knee being crooked is making the ankle itself more unstable? It's about 30% larger than normal. This ankle pops a lot also, even when it's not swollen. So hmmmmm.

Still trying to "tough it out" until my surgery in Jan. I'm wearing my Reggie Bush brace instead of my hinged brace. The hinged brace doesn't seem to be supportive enough anymore. I can feel my knee getting more twisted up when I wear the hinged brace :( At least the smaller stetchy brace is not quite as noticeable! It is VERY supportive and just sort of sucks everything in tight!

Shoulder PT is progressing well. Pain has been reduced quite a bit! I asked the PT lady about crutches because I'm concerned crutches will aggravate my shoulders. She said that I should only be on crutches about 3-4 days. Alleluia!! I had horrible visions of me hobbling into work with a backpack and crutches. I also asked her if forearm crutches would be better and she didn't think it would matter. WE SHALL SEE! I will have family members at home with me that whole week, so hopefully I won't have to move around a whole lot.

To top it off, my grandmother is sick and could pass at anytime. I'm a little stressed out about that, not knowing if/when. She had a very full, active, happy life so after 98 years I don't blame her if she wants to go "home" to be with grandpa again. Still it will be sad. I did get to talk to her on Thanksgiving so that was good.

Joint Motion and the Adult with EDS

I thought this article was really insightful, and explains why my "capsules" and "menisci" are not holding my joints together! Interesting!

http://www.ednf.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1323&Itemid=88889208

The capsule is a very important feature in constraining motion. It has been estimated that about 40% to 50% of joint motion is constrained by the capsule of the joint. Capsules have very few elastic fibers and are very tight fibrous tissues. If a capsule is torn because of injury, the capsule will no longer have the same integrity. The loss of fiber strength may thereafter allow more motion than before the trauma and so the joint becomes "hypermobile".

EDS is a group of disorders where the physical properties of this capsule are abnormal and diffuse stretching occurs during routine use of the joints. The capsule does not have much recoil, so if the patient repeatedly stretches the capsule, eventually the distention will not be reversible. However, in contrast to the post-traumatic joints, the resulting hypermobility will be widespread and symmetric since the inherited defect is throughout. These concerns apply also to the intraarticular fibrocartilage meniscus found in some joints which acts to disperse forces and to control motion of the bone ends. Tearing or distortion of these tissues may result in permanently hypermobile or unstable joints.

Pity

OK when the doc announced I needed another surgery, he expressed extreme dismay and said, "What is going on with your body? You're set to have more surgeries than ME!" I'd guess he's in his mid 40s. I don't really feel that way at all - I know I have EDS/Chiari and that's why my body tends to fall apart more quickly than others. I'm OK with that, I have accepted that and have decided to just do the best I can and take one day at a time. I also educate myself each time an issue pops up so I can make sense of it all.

I really hate pity. Yes some people feel sorry for me, but that's just because they have not come to grips with the situation like I have.

A lot of people are very shallow and focused on physical things. Having stuff, being in control of things, having certain social status, etc. I'm not really that way. There are a few physical items I would be upset to lose, but in the end, you can't take it with you! Physical things can be replaced and the physical body is not meant to last forever.

In addition I think the attitude of pity puts you into a "victim" role and I really can't stand that. It puts you in the position of being helpless. People are not helpless, they are just taught to feel that way. Then when anything "bad" happens they feel someone/something is attacking them and there's nothing they can do about it. I feel this attitude really contributes to illnesses and I wish more of us could realize we are in control of our destiny! Just think of all the people who came from nowhere, had nothing, or had a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, but ended up rich or famous or did something amazing. Did they sit around feeling sorry for themselves? Maybe a little while, but then they dusted themselves off and carried on toward their goal!

I was a little sad for a couple days after learning about my knee but now I'm trying to see the silver lining. I get to learn, I get a week or more off work to rest and relax, and maybe I can help educate and support some other people in the process. Who knows? I know my cats and dog will be ecstatic to spend some quality time with mama!

The verdict: Torn meniscus

Well finally got the MRI results and it makes me feel happy/relieved/sad/scared/frustrated/stressed out/vindicated/_______ (fill in the blank). The doc said I have a tear in the lateral meniscus of my left knee.

A meniscus tear is a common knee injury. The meniscus is a rubbery, C-shaped disc that cushions your knee. Each knee has two menisci (plural of meniscus)-one at the outer edge of the knee and one at the inner edge. The menisci keep your knee steady by balancing your weight across the knee. A torn meniscus can prevent your knee from working right.

A meniscus tear is usually caused by twisting or turning quickly, often with the foot planted while the knee is bent. These tears can occur when you lift something heavy or play sports. As you get older, your meniscus gets worn. This can make it tear more easily.

- From http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/meniscus-tear-topic-overview

I didn't want to be on crutches for the holidays, so I took the first available surgery date in 2011. I'll be having my surgery right after all the festivities are over. From the looks of it, recovery time depends a lot on what type of tear you have. However I heard most people with desk jobs can be back in a week! So, I'm planning on being back in one week unless the doctor finds my problem is worse and/or I'm having some issues. Gotta think positive!

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL???

Speaking of Reggie Bush - I have been pondering why I love football. In school I was TERRIBLE at sports. I understood the strategies and all, but I could never get my upper body to produce enough power to do things like spike or serve a volleyball, or swing a tennis racket. Forget about trying to push my way through a crowd of defenders. I can't even count the sad times in gym, growing up, and being last picked for teams, being forced to attend basketball and volleyball camps because my parents thought it would persuade me to like sports better, always losing and getting the red dodge ball smacked into me. I was picked on and teased constantly because my EDS body just was unable to keep up. The only things I could do somewhat well were gymnastics, running and strangely, flag football!

My dad used to watch football on TV every weekend and I came to associate the buzz of a football game with Sunday afternoon naps. I never really understood what all those guys were doing running around and slamming into each other on the field. All I knew was we rooted for the Green Bay Packers. I was in 5th grade when the Chicago Bears played in the Super Bowl and everyone was doing the Super Bowl Shuffle. I still didn't have a clue what was going on though. I guess because I was a girl, no one thought it was necessary for me to know.

In high school the fog was lifted; for gym class we had to learn football basics - but since we were girls AND our school had no football team, we used flags instead of tackling. In that game I finally experienced the exhilaration of winning. I threw the ball to one of my teammates who had "gotten it" also and she ran for the touchdown! We jumped up and down screaming in victory and she gave me a high five! I will never forget that moment of joy. We won because we had mastered the strategy of the game - not because we were the best athletes!

That small moment of joy in gym was a magical moment - I will never forget the look of joy on my classmate's face and the feeling of "Wow - I did it!" and the other classmates in shock that this skinny little girl had finally beaten them!

After that I really started to understand the football games on TV. I watched and soaked up all the information and became a dedicated fan of The Packers and The Colts! (Hey, they're in separate divisions :) ) To me, football is like a gigantic complicated game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors." I love the psychology they try to use, the "trick" plays, and how attitude can make or break the game. Although my body isn't strong enough to play like them, maybe I can live vicariously through them by watching every Sunday afternoon. I'm not as obsessed as some people are; I don't have all the players and stats memorized but I do enjoy watching - to me, it is the most exciting game in the world!

Here you can see how awesome Reggie Bush can play while wearing "his" knee brace after his 2007 PCL injury - ha, probably not :)

Photo source

Knee MRI: Complete!

Well I survived my first-ever knee MRI! I was not too worried about it since I've had MRIs of the shoulder, head and spine before. Basically they wheel you into this tiny coffin-like space (good thing I'm not claustrophobic). They strapped my leg down and stuffed styrofoam wedges around it so my knee would stay completely still. Then the MRI machine made a bunch of weird knocking, clicking and beeping noises. The first MRI I had, I found the weird noises unsettling. But now I'm used to them and expect it :)

All was fine and dandy until halfway through the scan, my entire leg went numb. Something about how it was propped up and strapped down was cutting off the nerves! I just kept my leg still and prayed for the scan to end. When I got back up it was a bit difficult to walk. But, no big deal. I was able to hobble back to my car well enough. The staff in the hospital were really nice and caring.

Now I have to live with the wobbly knee until Tuesday, when I return to the doc. who will tell me what is going on. If I had to describe it, I would say that the inside of my knee feels like gumby. If I try to go up stairs or hills, it feels like something inside my knee is s---t---r---e---t---c---h---i---n---g! If sort of feels if I don't back off, my entire knee will pop apart. I don't know if that is possible, but that is totally what it feels like.

So while on a trip to Kentucky, I found this cool knee brace supposedly endorsed by Reggie Bush, NFL running back for the New Orleans Saints. Actually I bought it because it was only $3.99 and I thought it might be a nice change :) It is basically a super-stretchy "tube" of fabric. When I wear it, it feels like my knee has springs in it. Everytime I bend the knee, the stretchiness "springs" the leg straight again. I don't know if this is the right kind of brace for my injury or not. But my body seems to like variety; too much of one thing starts to lose its effectiveness after awhile. Plus, I can wear it under tight(er) pants than the hinged one. The downer is, it tends to really irritate the skin on the back of my leg.